Guardian - 15 December 2011 - Pakistan: bombs, spies and wild parties

Viewed from the outside, Pakistan looms as the Fukushima of fundamentalism: a volatile[1], treacherous[2] place filled with frothing[3] Islamists and double-dealing generals, leaking plutonium-grade terrorist trouble. Forget the "world's most dangerous country" moniker[4], by now old hat[5]. Look to recent coverage: "Hornet's Nest[6]" declares this week's Economist; "The Ally from Hell" proclaims the Atlantic.

But pull off[7] the road and everything changes. Pakistanis are welcoming, generous and voluble[8]. They insist you stay for tea, or the night. They love to gab[9], often with glorious indiscretion[10] – national politics and local tattle[11], cricket scandals, movie stars and conspiracy theories. This is fun, and good for the business of journalism.

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[1] unstable; likely to change suddenly; easily becoming dangerous

[2] that cannot be trusted; intending to harm you; deceitful

[3] extremely angry

[4] a name

[5] something that is old-fashioned and no longer interesting

[6] a difficult situation in which a lot of people get very angry

[7] leave the road in order to stop for a short time

[8] talking a lot, and with enthusiasm, about a subject

[9] talk for a long time about things that are not important

[10] carelessness; an act or remark that is indiscreet, especially one that is not morally acceptable

[11] tittle-tattle; gossip; unimportant talk, usually not true, about other people and their lives

While Islam is technically the glue[1] of society, you learn, the real bonds are forged around clans, tribes, personal contacts. To get anything done, the official route is often pointless – the key is sifarish, the reference of an influential friend. Journalists use sifarish a lot; occasionally they are called on to dispense[2] it too.

That, however, is just the cosseted capital – the real pain has been felt elsewhere. Pakistan has paid a high blood price for what my guardian colleague Jason Burke calls the "9/11 wars". Since 2001, up to 5,000 Pakistanis have died in more that 300 suicide attacks; the victims range from toddlers[3] to three-star generals. Another 13,000 have been wounded. This is partly the legacy from the military's decades-old dabbling[4] in Islamist extremism, but for most Pakistanis the culprit is America.

Television shows fizz[5] with anti-American anger; many say the "Ally from Hell" epithet[6] applies to the US, not them. Things have never been worse: outrage at the killing of 24 Pakistani soldiers in a murky[7] border incident triggered a blockade on Nato supplies, the closure of a CIA drone base and the boycott of a conference on the future of Afghanistan – and that's just in the last week.

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[1] a sticky substance that is used for joining things together

[2] provide something, especially a service, for people

[3] a child who has only recently learnt to walk

[4] take part in a sport, an activity, etc. but not very seriously

[5] when a liquid fizzes, it produces a lot of bubbles and makes a long sound like an ‘s’

[6] an offensive word or phrase that is used about a person or group of people

[7] dark and dirty or difficult to see through

Washington, meanwhile, is moving to restrict $700m (£450m) in aid. The relationship is beset by frustrations and misunderstandings on both sides, but the net effect is that Pakistanis are more profoundly isolated from the outside world than they have been in decades. This cannot be good.

Pakistan is beset with problems that no amount of jolly beer stories or whirling dervishes can remedy. It is, as a psychologist might say, a country with serious issues. Most are decades old – the overweening[1] army, the confused place of Islam, the covert[2] support for jihad, deep-rooted corruption, the poisoned bond with America. Resolving them has never been so urgent.

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[1] arrogant; showing too much confidence or pride

[2] secret or hidden, making it difficult to notice

One reason is Afghanistan. As western troops draw down[1] by 2014, Pakistan can help construct a stable future for the war-ravaged[2] country – or spoil a deal it dislikes. But beyond that, it is the internal stability of Pakistan that is more worrying. The country is riven[3] by ethnic, tribal and political faultlines[4], which, in turn, are being exacerbated[5] by galloping population growth and deepening poverty. Turmoil[6] in a country with at least 120 nuclear warheads and a projected population of 300m people by 2030 could make Afghanistan look like a walk in the park. Talk of a "nuclear Somalia" is overstated[7], but you get the point.

Yet there is little sign of revolution. As the Arab spring swept the Middle East, Pakistan was quiet because, in a sense, it already has what others are demanding: elections. The problem is that few like the results.

Will ordinary Pakistanis tire of this power game? While there is no sign of a spring tide, millions of tiny waves are lapping[8] the shores of despair.

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[1] reduce a supply of something that has been created over a period of time; be reduced

[2] damage something badly; devastate

[3] divided because of disagreements, especially in a violent way

[4] a potentially disruptive division or area of contention

[5] aggravate; make something worse, especially a disease or problem

[6] a state of great anxiety and confusion; confusion

[7] say something in a way that makes it seem more important than it really is; exaggerate

[8] touch something gently and regularly, often making a soft sound

Vocubaulary through sentences related to Islam - the religious faith of Muslims

1. In a great number of kur'anic passages, ajr denotes the reward, in the world to come, for pious deeds.

denote
mean something

A brief biographical sketch of the life of Aḥmad ibn Ḥanbal


1. Aḥmad ibn Ḥanbal, (born 780, Baghdad—died855, Baghdad), Muslim theologian, jurist, and martyr for his faith.
2. He was the compiler of the Traditions of the Prophet Muḥammad (Musnad) and formulator of the Ḥanbalī, the most strictly traditionalist of the four orthodox Islāmic schools of law.
3. Of pure Arab stock, Ibn Ḥanbal belonged to the tribe of Shaybān through both parents.
4. He was still an infant when his father died at 30.
5. When Ibn Ḥanbal was 15 he began to study the Traditions (Ḥadīth) of the Prophet Muḥammad.
6. Seeking to learn from the great masters of his day, he travelled to the cities of Kūfah and Basra in Iraq; Mecca, Hejaz, and Medina in Arabia; and to the lands of Yemen and Syria.
7. He made five pilgrimages to the holy city of Mecca, three times on foot.
8. Ibn Ḥanbal led a life of asceticism and self-denial, winning many disciples.
9. He had eight children, of whom two were well known and closely associated with his intellectual work: Ṣālih (died 880) and ʿAbd Allāh (died 903).
10. The central fact of Ibn Ḥanbal’s life is the suffering to which he was subjected during the inquisition (=a series of questions that somebody asks you, especially when they ask them in an unpleasant way), known as al-miḥnah, ordered by the caliph al-Maʾmūn.
11. But for this great trial, and the unflagging (=remaining strong; not becoming weak or tired) courage he displayed in the face of his persecutors, Ibn Ḥanbal would most likely have been remembered solely for his work on the Traditions.
12. As it is, he remains to this day, in addition to his recognized stature as an expert on Traditions, one of the most venerated fathers of Islām, a staunch upholder of Muslim orthodoxy.
13. The inquisition was inaugurated in 833, when the Caliph made obligatory upon all Muslims the belief that the Qurʾān was created, a doctrine of the Muʿtazilites, a rationalist Islāmic school that claimed that reason was equal to revelation as a means to religious truth. The Caliph had already made public profession of this belief in 827.
14. Heretofore (=before this time), the sacred book had been regarded as the uncreated, eternal word of God.
15. The inquisition was conducted in Baghdad, seat of the ʿAbbāsid caliphate, as well as in the provinces. It lasted from 833 to 848, a period involving the reign of four caliphs, ending during the caliphate of al-Mutawakkil, who returned to the traditionalist view.
16. At the risk of his life, Ibn Ḥanbal refused to subscribe to (=agree with or support an opinion, a theory) the Muʿtazilī doctrine.
17. He was put in chains, beaten, and imprisoned for about two years. After his release he did not resume his lectures until the inquisition was publicly proclaimed at an end.
18. Some orthodox theologians, to survive the ordeal, had recanted (=say, often publicly, that you no longer have the same belief or opinion that you had before), and later claimed the privilege of dissimulation (=concealment) as a justification for their behaviour. This is a dispensation granted in the Qurʾān to those who wish to avail themselves of it when forced to profess a false faith, while denying it in their hearts. Other theologians, following the example of Ibn Ḥanbal, refused to repudiate their beliefs.
19. In 833 Ibn Ḥanbal and another theologian, Muḥammad ibn Nūḥ, who had also refused to recant, were cited (=order somebody to appear in court) to appear for trial before Caliph al-Maʾmūn, who was in Tarsus (now in modern Turkey) at the time.
20. They were sent off in chains from Baghdad; but shortly after beginning their journey, the Caliph died.
21. Ibn Ḥanbal was ordered to appear before the new caliph, al-Muʿtaṣim. He was on trial for three days, and on the third day, after the learned men disputed with him, there followed a private conference with the Caliph who asked Ibn Ḥanbal to yield at least a little so that he might grant him his freedom.
22. Ibn Ḥanbal made the same reply he had been making from the beginning of the inquisition; he would yield when given some ground for modifying his faith derived from the sources he regarded as authoritative, namely the Qurʾān and the Traditions of Muḥammad.
23. Losing patience, the Caliph ordered that he be taken away and flogged. Throughout the flogging the Caliph persisted in his attempts to obtain a recantation, but to no avail.
24. Ibn Ḥanbal’s unflinching (=remaining strong and determined, even in a difficult or dangerous situation) spirit was beginning to have its effect upon the Caliph; but the latter’s advisers warned that if he desisted from punishing him, he would be accused of having opposed the doctrine of his predecessor al-Maʾmūn, and the victory of Ibn Ḥanbal would have dire consequences on the reign of the caliphs.
25. But the Caliph’s treatment of Ibn Ḥanbal had to be suspended, nevertheless, because of the mounting anger of the populace gathering outside the palace and preparing to attack it.
26. Ibn Ḥanbal is reported to have been beaten by 150 floggers, each in turn striking him twice and moving aside. The scars from his wounds remained with him to the end of his life.
27. The inquisition continued under the next caliph, al-Wāthiq, but Ibn Ḥanbal was no longer molested (=attack somebody physically), in spite of attempts on the part of his opponents to persuade the Caliph to persecute him.
28. The new caliph, like his predecessor, was most likely influenced by the threat of a popular uprising should he lay violent hands on a man popularly held to be a saint.
29. The momentum of the inquisition carried it two years into the reign of al-Mutawakkil, who finally put an end to it in 848.
30. Ibn Ḥanbal earned the greatest reputation of all the persons involved in the inquisition and the everlasting gratitude of the Muslim people. He is credited with having held his ground in the face of all odds, saving Muslims from becoming unbelievers.
31. At his funeral the procession was estimated at more than 800,000 mourners.
32. The most important of Ibn Ḥanbal’s works is his collection of the Traditions of the Prophet Muḥammad. This collection was heretofore (=before this time) believed to have been compiled by the author’s son (ʿAbd Allāh), but there is now evidence that the work was compiled and arranged by Ibn Ḥanbal himself. These Traditions were considered by Ibn Ḥanbal as a sound basis for argument in law and religion.
33. Too much stress has been laid on the influence on him of the teachings of Shāfiʿī, the founder of the Shāfiʿī school, whom Ibn Ḥanbal apparently met only once.
34. He had a high respect for Shāfiʿī but also for the other great jurists who belonged to other schools of law, without, for that matter, relinquishing his own independent opinions.
35. He was against codification of the law, maintaining that canonists had to be free to derive the solutions for questions of law from scriptural sources, namely the Quʾrān and the sunnah (the body of Islāmic custom and practice based on Muḥammad’s words and deeds).
36. It was to this end that he compiled his great Musnad, wherein he registered all the traditions considered in his day acceptable as bases for the solution of questions, along with the Quʾrān itself.
37. The fact that the Ḥanbalī school was organized at all was due to the impact of Ibn Ḥanbal on his time. The other orthodox schools were already prospering in Baghdad when the Ḥanbalī school sprang up in their midst, drawing its membership from theirs.
38. The lateness of the hour accounts for the relatively small membership attained by the Ḥanbalī school compared with the older schools.
39. It is, however, not by the number of its members that the importance of the school and its originator should be judged but rather by their impact on the development of Islāmic religious history.

A brief biographical sketch of the life of Malik ibn Anas

1. Malik ibn Anas, in full Abū ʿAbd Allāh Mālik Ibn Anas Ibn Al-Hārith Al-Aṣbaḥī (born c. 715—died 795) was a Muslim legist (=one skilled in the laws) who played an important role in formulating early Islāmic legal doctrines.

2. He is frequently called the Imam of Medina.

3. Few details are known about Mālik ibn Anas’ life, most of which was spent in the city of Medina. He became learned in Islāmic law and attracted a considerable number of students.

4. His prestige (=standing or estimation in the eyes of people) involved him in politics, and he declared during that loyalty to the caliph - who has staged a coup - was not a religious necessity, since homage (=respect; expression of high regard) to him had been given under compulsion.

5. The caliph, however, was victorious, and Mālik received a flogging. This only increased his prestige, and during later years he regained favour with the central government.

6. Later in life the Abbasid caliph Harun al-Rashid tried to make the Muwatta (a "smoothed path" [this is practically what al-muwatta means]) the basis for a unified code of law.

7. Mālik ibn Anas produced one major book—the Muwaṭṭaʾ. This is the oldest surviving compendium (=a collection of facts on a particular subject, especially in a book) of Islāmic law.

8. Malik wished to codify and systematise the customary law of Medina.

9. The Muwatta has survived in several versions and includes hadith from the Prophet and his Companions as well as legal opinions of Malik and other famous scholars from Medina.

10. The Muwaṭṭaʾ is the earliest surviving Muslim law-book. Its object is to give a survey of law and justice; ritual and practice of religion according to the ijma of Islam in Medina, according to the sunna usual in Medina.

11. The Muwaṭṭaʾ is still part of the required curriculum of many Islamic universities today, especially in North and West Africa where the Maliki school (one of the four madhhabs of Sunni law) predominates (=have the most influence or importance).

12. In later times, the Muwatta was regarded by many as canonical.

13. Malik died, at the age of about 85 after a short illness, in the year 179/796 in Medina and was buried in al-Baki. Abd Allah b. Zaynab, the governor there, conducted his funeral service.

A brief biographical sketch of the life of Shafii

1.         Abū ʿAbd Allāh ash-Shāfiʿī,  (born 767, Arabia—died Jan. 20, 820, al-Fusṭāṭ, Egypt), Muslim legal scholar who played an important role in the formation of Islāmic legal thought and was the founder of the Shāfiʿīyah school of law.

2.         He also made a basic contribution to religious and legal methodology with respect to the use of traditions.

3.         He belonged to the tribe of the Quraysh, the tribe of the Prophet Muḥammad, to whom his mother was distantly related.

4.         His father died when he was very young, and he was brought up, in poor circumstances, by his mother in Mecca.

5.         He came to spend much time among the Bedouins and from them acquired a thorough familiarity with Arabic poetry.

6.         When he was about 20 he travelled to Medina to study with the great legal scholar Mālik ibn Anas. On Mālik’s death in 795, ash-Shāfiʿī went to Yemen, where he became involved in seditious (=the use of words or actions that are intended to encourage people to oppose a government) activities for which he was imprisoned by the caliph Hārūn ar-Rashīd at ar-Raqqah (in Syria) in 803.

7.         He was soon freed, however, and after a period of study in Baghdad with an important jurist of the Ḥanafī school, ash-Shaybānī, he went to al-Fusṭāṭ (now Cairo), where he remained until 810.

8.         Returning to Baghdad, he settled there as a teacher for several years. After some further travels, he returned to Egypt in 815/816 and remained there for the rest of his life. His tomb in al-Fusṭāṭ was long a place of pilgrimage.

9.         Primarily he dealt with the question of what the sources of Islāmic law were and how these sources could be applied by the law to contemporary events. His book, the Risālah, written during the last five years of his life, entitles him to be called the father of Muslim jurisprudence.

A brief biographical sketch of the life of Abu Hanifah

1.         Abū Ḥanīfah, in full Abū Ḥanīfah An-nuʿmān Ibn Thābit   (born 699, Kūfah, Iraq—died767, Baghdad), was a Muslim jurist and theologian (=a person who studies beliefs).

2.         His systematization of Islāmic legal doctrine was acknowledged as one of the four canonical schools of Islāmic law.

3.         The school of Abū Ḥanīfah acquired such prestige that its doctrines (=a set of principles) were applied by a majority of Muslim dynasties.

4.         Abū Ḥanīfah was born in Kūfah, an intellectual centre of Iraq, and belonged to the mawālī, the non-Arab Muslims, who pioneered intellectual activity in Islāmic lands.

5.         The son of a merchant, young Abū Ḥanīfah took up the silk trade for a living and eventually became moderately wealthy.

6.         In early youth he was attracted to theological debates, but later, disenchanted with (=no longer feeling enthusiasm for) theology, he turned to law and for about 18 years was a disciple of Ḥammād (d. 738), then the most noted Iraqi jurist.

7.         After Ḥammād’s death, Abū Ḥanīfah became his successor. He also learned from several other scholars, notably the Meccan traditionist ʿAṭāʾ (d. c. 732) and Jaʿfar aṣ-Ṣādiq (d. 765).

8.         Abū Ḥanīfah’s mind was also matured by extensive travels and by exposure to the heterogeneous (=consisting of many different kinds of people), advanced society of Iraq.

9.         By Abū Ḥanīfah’s time a vast body of legal doctrines had accumulated. The disagreements in these doctrines had rendered necessary the development of a uniform code. Abū Ḥanīfah responded by scrutinizing (=look at or examine carefully) the current doctrines in collaboration with his students, several of them outstanding scholars.

10.       He had each legal problem discussed before formulating any doctrines.

11.       Before Abū Ḥanīfah’s time, doctrines had been formulated mainly in response to actual problems, whereas he attempted to solve problems that might arise in the future. By the introduction of this method, the area of law was considerably enlarged.

12.       Compared with his contemporaries, the Kufan Ibn Abī Laylā (d. 765), the Syrian Awzāʿī (d. 774), and the Medinese Mālik (d. 795), Abū Ḥanīfah’s doctrines are more carefully formulated and consistent and his technical legal thought more highly developed and refined.

13.       Although theology was not Abū Ḥanīfah’s primary concern, he did take distinct positions on several theological questions, stimulating the development of the Māturīdīyah school, a champion of orthodoxy (=the traditional beliefs or practices of a religion).

14.       Because of his temperament and academic preoccupation, Abū Ḥanīfah took no direct part in court politics or power struggles, despite his obvious antipathy (=a strong feeling of dislike) toward the Umayyads and ʿAbbāsids, the ruling dynasties of the time.

15.       His sympathies lay with the ʿAlids (the successors of ʿAlī), whose revolts he openly supported with words and money. This fact partly explains why Abū Ḥanīfah steadfastly refused a judgeship and also why he suffered severe persecution under both dynasties.

A butcher’s clothes are splotched with blood.

splotch

make a daub, blot, or smear on

How to Handle a Bossy Kid What to do if the balance of power is out of whack in your home. By Judsen Culbreth from Reader's Digest | April 2005 Is Your Child in Charge? Before she even rolls out of bed in the morning, six-year-old Mary Beth White of Wilmington, Delaware, gives her parents their marching orders. “I want eggs for breakfast,” she announces. “I want to see what you pack in my lunch box. After school, let’s get chicken nuggets. Then let’s come home so I can change into a dress before we go to the mall.” Her parents, Tom and Jill, have a challenge on their hands. “In a way, it’s great to have an organized kid who knows her own mind,” says Jill, who has a younger daughter as well. “Trouble is, Mary Beth will sometimes go too far. She’ll tell me what shoes to wear, or insist that I paint the dining room a different color. The other day she tried to rearrange the furniture by herself. And when she plays with friends, she has to be the star. If she doesn’t get her way, she gets angry.” Some children are natural-born bosses. They have an innate need to make decisions, manage their environment, and lead rather than follow. Stephen Jackson, a first-grader from northern New Jersey, “operates under the theory of what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine,” says his mom, Sue. “The other day I bought two new Star Wars light sabers. Later, I saw Stephen with the two new ones while his brother was using the beat-up ones.” “Examine the extended family, and you’ll probably find a bossy grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin in every generation. It’s an inheritable trait,” says Russell A. Barkley, a professor of psychiatry at the Medical University of South Carolina and co-author of Your Defiant Child. Other children drift into dominance to fill a power void when they sense their parents are weak, ambivalent, or in disagreement with each other. Whether it’s temperament or temper tantrum at work, too much control in the hands of the young isn’t healthy for children or the family. Fear is at the root of a lot of bossy behavior, says family psychologist John F. Taylor. Children, he says in his book From Defiance to Cooperation, “have secret feelings of weakness” and “a craving to feel safe.” It’s the parents’ role — not the child’s — to provide that security. When a “boss child” doesn’t learn limits at home, the stage is set for a host of troubles outside the family. The overly willful, persistent, and inflexible child may have trouble obeying teachers or coaches, for example, or trouble keeping friends. It can be pretty lonely as the top dog if no one likes your domineering ways. “I see a trend of parents abdicating their authority,” says Barkley, who has studied bossy behavior for more than 30 years. “They bend too far because they don’t want to be as strict as their own parents were. But they also feel less competent about their parenting skills. And their kids, in turn, feel more anxious.” How can parents regain respect and peace without being overbearing? These suggestions can help realign the balance of power. 1. Unite and Conquer. Strong-willed kids are often unusually bright, gifted and creative. Their parents need to be especially thoughtful and on their toes, ready and willing to actively manage them. Otherwise, youngsters — even toddlers — will sense an opening. “Bossy kids tend to work more on the mother,” notes Barkley. “It’s important for both parents to be mindful of their child’s trigger points, to agree on key rules, and to back each other up.” 2. Say “Yes” When You Can. Children do not learn in a stressful, angry atmosphere. Before change can take place, family feuding needs to be defused. Evaluate sources of conflict. Kids tend to dig in and act defiant when their parents over-control them, telling them exactly what to wear and eat, for example.” Be calm and firm about fewer family rules,” suggests Barkley. “If your child wants yogurt for breakfast but you’ve made pancakes, let it go once in a while.” It’s a matter, he says, of “prioritizing the nos.” 3. Pay Attention. Studies show that demanding and defiant kids receive less affection and positive acknowledgement — and more punishment — than compliant kids. Withdrawing from a small tyrant is a parent’s natural response, but it feeds the child’s fears, resulting in more attempts at control. Kids need to experience their parents’ love in concrete ways so they’ll feel safe enough to relax.” When I give her my full attention for at least 20 minutes a day, Mary Beth is very attuned to me,” says Jill White. “That’s when I can get her to think and compromise. Recently I told her, ‘We have a problem. You like to pick out your clothes, but I want to decide what you wear to church. What should we do?’ On her own, she suggested Mary Beth days and Mommy days.” 4. Make Respect Reciprocal. Exquisite manners are essential for family diplomacy. Modeling “please” and “thank you,” and showing a child by example how to suggest and request rather than bark orders, preserves everyone’s ego. It also builds the social skills needed to keep authority figures and friends happy. Try asking your child to do you an easy favor. Then reward it with a hug and words such as, “Thank you. I like it when you listen to me.” Good manners and compliance will become associated with pleasure. 5. Secure Your Status. Even as you try to be attentive, respectful and accommodating — to a point — don’t surrender your parental command post. Instead, sit tall in the saddle, as one mom put it, by using body language and eye contact that tells your child who’s in charge. Also, rope off adult privileges: “That’s Daddy’s chair. Please choose another.” Enforce rules swiftly and surely. “It’s bedtime in 30 minutes. Finish your game so we can share a story.” Refuse to engage in further debate, and simply turn off the lights at the appointed time. Bossy children can turn out to be popular, determined leaders, or unhappy, fearful loners. They look to their parents to be parents — the people who will show them how to tap their potential. Judsen Culbreth, former editor-in-chief of “Parent & Child” and “Working Mother,” conducts workshops for parents. http://www.rd.com/family/how-to-handle-the-family-power-struggle/

out of whack no longer correct or working properly give somebody their marching orders   to order somebody to leave a place, their job, etc. nugget a small round piece of some types of food star a very famous, successful, and popular performer innate inborn; present from birth operate to work saber (especially UK sabre) a heavy sword with a curved blade beat-up old and damaged   bossy fond of or prone to giving orders trait a characteristic or quality that distinguishes somebody psychiatry the study and treatment of mental illness drift move from one state to another void a large empty space ambivalent unsure;  uncertain or unable to decide about what course to follow temperament a prevailing or dominant quality of mind tantrum an outburst of anger, especially a childish display of rage or bad temper craving a strong desire for something boss somebody dominant overly too much; to an extreme or excessive degree willful (especially UK wilful) stubborn; stubbornly determined to act on a desire, regardless of the opinions or advice of others top dog the most important or powerful person domineering tyrannical; trying to control other people without thinking about their feelings parenting child-rearing overbearing bossy; arrogant and tending to order people around realign to readjust; to straighten something again strong-willed determined to prevail in the face of difficulty or opposition on your toes alert and ready for action toddler a young child who is learning to walk trigger a stimulus that sets off an action, process, or series of events stressful causing or involving mental or physical stress feud a prolonged disagreement, dispute, or quarrel defuse to make a situation less tense, dangerous, or uncomfortable dig in to take up defensive positions pancake a thin flat round cake let go (of something) to surrender; to stop holding something prioritize to rank things according to importance defiant deliberately and openly disobedient compliant obedient; ready to conform tyrant dictator; an authoritarian person attuned to familiar with pick out to choose or select on your own without help exquisite excellent; perfect and delightful bark to give orders, ask questions, etc. in a loud, unfriendly way ego self-esteem compliance the practice of obeying rules or requests made by people in authority attentive helpful; making sure that people have what they need in the saddle in a position of authority and control rope off to separate an area from another one, using ropes, to stop people from entering it fearful nervous and afraid loner somebody who likes being alone tap to make use of a source of energy, knowledge, etc. that already exists